Kin of the Stars

Please sign in to post.

Join the forum, it's quick and easy

Kin of the Stars

Please sign in to post.

Kin of the Stars

Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.
Kin of the Stars

A community for the fans of Crest of the Stars, Abh culture, anime, technology, science fiction, video games, and friendly conduct.


3 posters

    Darkness In The Valley Of The Damned (BY: Tanis/Morris)

    tanis1lionheart
    tanis1lionheart
    Front Flyer
    Front Flyer


    Number of posts : 198
    Imperial Credits : 11612
    Registration date : 2009-05-06
    Age : 37
    Location : Roswell, NM

    Darkness In The Valley Of The Damned (BY: Tanis/Morris) Empty Darkness In The Valley Of The Damned (BY: Tanis/Morris)

    Post by tanis1lionheart 9/12/2009, 10:43 pm

    Darkness, in the valley,
    O’ the damned souls they play.
    Darkness, in the valley,
    Shines brighter than hot coals in a trains hold.

    Evil little beast that devour children,
    O’ see them play as masquerades.
    The most horrid sight to see,
    Is the bigotry of goods errant demon seas.

    Goblins, orcs, vampires,
    They all dance in the grandest of corridors.
    Look as the humans gather round,
    Their demonic minds make unholy sounds.

    Darkness, in the valley,
    O’ the damned souls they act so queer and gay.
    Darkness, in the valley,
    Sunshine is nothing more a full moon night.

    Beast that live under your bed,
    And in the furthest reaches of your head.
    O’ they play on xylophones,
    As they march on human bones to the center of Rome.

    Werewolves, hobs, ghouls,
    Hunt the egotistical fools.
    See the actors play their parts,
    O what a joy to see the ending start!

    Darkness, in the valley,
    O’ the damned souls speak like nails across chalkboards.
    Darkness, in the valley,
    A moon that shines of the dead in unholy blood red.

    The walls of ambrosia black,
    The valleys fortifications unwilling to crack.
    Wholeheartedly they wish to destroy,
    But all they do is make a dreary noise.

    Dark-seraphs, sirens, banshees,
    Fight to be messengers of catastrophe.
    O what a horrid twilight,
    Seek the final sunlight!


    Darkness, in the valley,
    O’ the damned souls are marching toward the gateway.
    Darkness, in the valley,
    When the sky it rain, but only blood of the insane.

    The valley floor makes a shaking sound,
    See how they raise the plague ridden ground.
    What a depressing sight,
    Soon the highest of valley peaks will be nothing more, than a mesa’s sheared might.

    Devils, wraiths, politicians,
    Make way for Satan’s final destination.
    This could be the end of humanity,
    Is this Gods’ plan, everlasting demonic serenity?

    Darkness, in the valley,
    O’ the damned souls are squinting their eyes.
    Darkness, in the valley,
    Sunshine pours in, now to count the days of Armageddon.

    Rapist, pedophiles, murderous looters,
    Make up the first shock troopers.
    They lick their lips like hounds,
    They can’t wait to hear their victims pleading sounds.

    Witches start to make their brews,
    Plans to summon strength sucked from the darkness within me and you.
    O’ how we thought we could get away,
    But now we see the demonic doomsday.

    Darkness, in the valley,
    O’ the damned souls pack their belongings.
    Darkness, in the valley,
    Starlight sees them in their fleshly loggings.

    Back-stabbers, murders, adulteresses,
    Look for longing to get back to destroy a world they miss.
    No need for them to get high,
    Soon they well will be on the path to destroying lives.

    Warlocks conjure beasts of old,
    Making sure to create chains of gold.
    O’ look at the dragons rise,
    Metallic evils, they wish for us to die!


    Darkness, in the valley,
    O’ the damned souls summon their strength.
    Darkness, in the valley,
    Torchlight shines on their first batch of prisoners.

    Liars, gluttons, racists,
    They all wish for the executions of certain spaces.
    How so many shall die,
    It’s really clobbering time.

    Necromancers summon their brew of cancers,
    They begin the spell of the unholy dancer.
    Readying for their ploy to destroy,
    By rising the forgotten dead like toys.

    Darkness, in the valley,
    O’ the damned souls know only of winning.
    Darkness, in the valley,
    Fire’s light brings feast of innocents with moral bearing.

    Mutants, giants, skeletons,
    They march in such frightening unison.
    O’ so lustful to devastate,
    Now bathed in a sea of human hate.

    Shepard’s of Rot beckon plague into their rooms,
    Soon they shall destroy all of Mother Earths’ spring bloom.
    Fallen druids of old,
    The know how to destroy as well to control.

    Darkness, in the valley,
    O’ the damned souls are having unrelenting fun.
    Darkness, in the valley,
    Light shines from the wines lit runs.

    Wenches, dead-beats, pimps
    Ready to attack cowardly wimps.
    They join in the fight,
    Aggravate in mass fright.

    Fallen angels call forth their negative shells,
    Their appearances are mockeries of their former selves.
    Black wings with yellow eyes and crimson skin,
    Ready to punish all of God’s children!


    Darkness, in the valley,
    O’ the damned souls are now fully battle dressed.
    Darkness, in the valley,
    A glare that consumes all light, damnation’s final jest.

    Satan, Lucifer, Morning Star,
    The unholy trinity of the most evil usher.
    The guide thru time & space, universes & dimensions,
    Furthering dementia, destroying all of the fallen kings creation!

    Hewhay raises his twin’s corpse on high,
    This first truth against so many infinite lies.
    Suséj takes his nephews device of execution,
    Inverting it to show his final solution.

    Darkness, in the valley,
    O’ the damned souls fear no gods of man.
    Darkness, in the valley,
    Light-bringer has struck down the biblical plan.

    You, me, all humanity,
    Our betrayal, our want of demonic lust, our warped reality.
    Man tried to forget the universal plan,
    Now all creation must pay of the chosen one’s hand!

    Yahweh is stretched on a cloth of black,
    His existence is denied by his twins attack.
    Strength built upon by the faith and loyalty of his sheep,
    Humanity denied; crucified; victimized; and declared him too cheep.

    Darkness, in the valley,
    O’ the damned souls have marched past Trinity Square.
    Darkness, in the valley,
    The four horsemen graze on Mary’s front lawn without fear.

    Heaven, Earth, Hell,
    Once three separated by God’s will.
    But god is dead and no one used to care,
    But as water burns; sky crumbles; ground melts; all start t fear.

    All Creation prays for salvation,
    All hatred and wants of demonic desires depart the in minds of creation.
    The agents of evil all laugh with a horrid look of glee,
    They can taste the new, hellish, demonic, eternity!


    Darkness, in the valley,
    O’ the damned souls parade thru heaven, earth, and hell.
    Darkness, in the valley,
    The light of mortal souls blind evil’s agents well.

    Satan’s army, creation’s civilians, Heaven’s rebels,
    The largest of all three by double is Satan’s army lead by the highest devils.
    Heavens last trick appears in the sky, doomed to not succeed,
    But as they charge, souls rush to create a new eternity!

    God is dead, stretched upon a flag,
    His body dissipates into a young stag.
    Souls’ will, angel’s indestructible Achilles heel,
    Dark vs. Light, the final bathed in creations’ will.


    Darkness, in the valley,
    Ragnarok has finally come.
    Darkness, in the valley,
    The final battle is on its last run.

    Black, gray, white,
    The pivotal moment will determine the fate of this twilight!
    Will Satan’s army overcome,
    Or shall creation and Heaven’s rebels will be done?

    The path is being chosen as you read,
    The white stag is taking the final shape of destiny.
    Will heaven, earth, hell remain separated,
    Or will all be combined into a cauldron of boiled glories faded?

    Darkness, in the valley,
    All creation will be doomed.
    Light in the valley,
    The white stag will be a god renewed.
    Grey in the valley,
    Creation shall remain as a place for life continued.

    What shall be the final outcome of this greatest of battles ever know,
    Creation will decide this fate alone.
    Pray now to the side you wish success,
    Eternal light, continual continuum, or eternal darkness.
    AlexT
    AlexT
    Kilo-commander
    Kilo-commander


    Number of posts : 542
    Imperial Credits : 12460
    Registration date : 2009-03-18

    Darkness In The Valley Of The Damned (BY: Tanis/Morris) Empty Re: Darkness In The Valley Of The Damned (BY: Tanis/Morris)

    Post by AlexT 9/13/2009, 8:17 am

    First thing that comes to mind - it's a little bit too long... A lot of very strong yet sometimes confusing negative symbols that make you expect strong conclusion but there's only a question and not a new one.
    The ability of authors to create atmosphere is truly worth compliment, but again - avoiding excessive repetitiveness is important imo. Using so many "strong symbols" just reduce the overall effect.
    A bit too much of pathetics in it to my taste, but author succeeded in creating dark and hopeless atmosphere. Hopefully next one will be more positive Wink
    Almael
    Almael
    Imperial Admiral
    Imperial Admiral


    Number of posts : 2849
    Imperial Credits : 18984
    Registration date : 2009-03-18

    Darkness In The Valley Of The Damned (BY: Tanis/Morris) Empty Re: Darkness In The Valley Of The Damned (BY: Tanis/Morris)

    Post by Almael 9/13/2009, 2:15 pm

    Darkness In The Valley Of The Damned (BY: Tanis/Morris) Icon_eek
    Amazing. 10 points for literal effort. I don't know what inspired this but it's not something anyone can do out of the blue.
    The format is alright, as well as the pattern for the most part. However, I have to join Alex in that it's too long for normal mortal readers, but it's worth somthing for any linguists or anyone in literature.
    As to the intensification to the climax, it's the extra info that makes it less noticeable, but otherwise is alright.

    Sponsored content


    Darkness In The Valley Of The Damned (BY: Tanis/Morris) Empty Re: Darkness In The Valley Of The Damned (BY: Tanis/Morris)

    Post by Sponsored content


      Current date/time is 4/27/2024, 5:12 pm